The Importance of Keys

So it's time to play a bit of catch-up. Several posts are lined up, all waiting in my brain's cue to be completed. They are taking up too much precious space in my over-taxed mommy brain, so I need to get them down in writing.

We will start with: Keys!

One thing you should know about me: I never lose my keys.

Never.

This is simply because I am exactly the kind of person who loses their keys.

Over the years, I have forced myself to always, always, always put my keys in the same place, so there is no chance I will absent-mindedly drop them somewhere, only to have to retrace my steps when it's time to leave the house again. Keeping this in mind, picture a chilly February morning. The kids and Batman are out the door, off to school and work. I am dashing around the house getting ready to leave for work myself. I've had my coffee, and am ready to head out. I've even left a few extra minutes in case I get caught by the train. I check my purse for my keys.

They're not there.

Weird, I think.

I go to grab them off the counter.

Not there either.

Seriously?

The day before had been so busy, I hadn't even been in other parts of the house. I looked and looked, rearranging a small stack of papers I hadn't touched in days. I glance at the clock, become a bit panicked, and start digging through the couch cushions, knowing they aren't there.

I checked the clock again. Was I really going to have to call my boss, saying I would be late because I couldn't find my keys? It was getting more absurd by the moment, and I began to suspect my children were involved. One six-year-old in particular.

I call my boss.

I blame my kids.

I looked and looked, and don't ask why I even thought to look here, probably because it was the only four square inches of space I hadn't checked already.

But after 40 minutes, here is where I found them:

What? You don't see them? They're right there.

And with that, Gabriel's fate was sealed. A talking to for sure!

Fast forward to that same evening in February. Our elementary school hosted an event. Batman met us there straight from work. We were among the last to leave. Gabriel hopped into my car, asked if he could sit in the driver's seat for a moment. I said yes, and stood right next to him as the car warmed up, and Batman and I finished chatting.

Batman leaves.

My ex-husband is there, ready to take the boys back with him.

And then it happened.

Somehow. Some. How.

Gabriel locked my keys in the car.

While it was running.

My ex witnesses this. He humanely offers to allow me to sit in his warm car while I wait for rescue. I decline. He really needs to get the kiddos back to his house and into bed.

I wonder where my film crew is. The absurdity that is my everyday life with my amazing kiddos should be documented. And broadcast. Even if only for the benefit of other moms and the absurdity that is their life.

A mom I know is leaving the deserted school. She asks how she can help. I laugh as I explain my situation. She laughs even harder, especially as I recount events from earlier in the day. Her lovely six-year-old Lily doesn't undertand our hysteria. The mom offers me gum.

Gum.

Because she doesn't have any vodka.

I happily accept.

She leaves, knowing my Batman is on his way to rescue me.

The chewing action of my gum fails to keep me from shivering as I wait, laughing inside at my beautiful, wacky adventure of motherhood.

My hero arrives. More laughter. More head-shaking. Life is good.

Meatloaf Cupcakes

We called Leap Day "Wacky Wednesday" since it was so unusual.  To go with the theme, I made Meatloaf Cupcakes for dinner.  They were a hit!

I could see this being a fun April Fool's thing to make also.  I simply took my favorite meatloaf recipe (made with turkey) and baked it in a muffin tin (which is awesome, because it only takes about 20 minutes to bake!).

I made mashed potatoes, a little more whipped than usual, and piped them on using a pastry bag with a really large tip.  They were HOT!  And not without a few lumps, even though I was careful.

Next time, I think sweet potatoes would be even prettier, and a bit more nutritious, of course.

Then I steamed some peas and individually sprinkled them on top.

The kids went bonkers for this.  It's fun because you can change this up and be as creative as you like.  Let me know if you wind up making a version of these and share pictures on here!



A WHAT in your pants?

I am pretty careful about the music my kids listen to. I believe in keeping my beautiful children innocent for as long as possible, but still be reasonable so they are not too sheltered.

Julian was listening to his iPod the other day. I forget that it also functions as a radio. He was seriously jammin to I'm Sexy and I Know It. Sure it's a great dance song, and even though I know it's not the most kid-friendly song, I didn't hear anything seriously objectionable in it so I wasn't too concerned.

Until my six-year-old asked what sexy means.

And then I heard Julian sing, "I've got a passion in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it."

Um...WHAT??

Of course his innocent little mind has no idea what this means. However, I explained that that was not the most appropriate thing to be singing. When he asked why, I explained that those words have very grown up meanings and he should make up some other words to sing during that part of he song- just to see what he would come up with.

He came back a few minutes later and excitedly told me he had new lyrics. He cheerfully sang "I've got a parrot in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it."

I praised him for such creative thinking then giggled before he left. I'm not actually sure if those words are any better, but I'm sure it conjures a comical picture in his mind, keeping it completely age appropriate for him.

In a few years, when he gets a girlfriend, I will definitely be sharing this. :)

Little Boys

Little Boys
And their smelly shoes
Rocks in their pockets
Sticky glue

Fingerprints on my glasses
Impish looks
Constant wrestling
Lost library books

Ninja masks
And Kung Fu kicks
Scattered colors of
Lego bricks

Boy parts, pee pee jokes
And new lingo-
Bakugan, Paper Jams
And Ninjago

Superheroes
Climbing Trees
All their jeans
Have holey knees

Pirate ships
And zooming cars
Imaginary
Flights to Mars

Splashing in puddles
Hills of ants
And far too many
Captain Underpants

Boogey noses
Sticky-up hair
Need constant reminders
To stop tipping their chair

Walking and talking
In their sleep
Spinning in circles
Till they collapse in a heap

Cuddly hugs
Yet they sniff my pits
Gales of giggles
Had in fits

So many kisses
And I Love Yous
Come with
Little boys
And their smelly shoes
                  -AM

The Froggy Hat

This is Gabriel.

This is Gabriel wearing his new froggy hat.



Gabriel looooooves his new froggy hat.  He wears it all the time.  He loves it so much, he even sleeps in it. 

Notice the little thread of yarn dangling from that little pom-pom?  A few minutes after this picture was taken, I was tucking my little ones into bed.  Gabriel noticed the little thread and pulled.  It became a longer thread.  Gabriel became very sad.  I told Gabriel to give me a minute and I would fix it.  I left and returned with the scissors, intending to knot and cut the thread so it wouldn't completely unravel. 

Gabriel saw me.  Gabriel saw the scissors.  Gabriel became completely panic-stricken.  And...are you ready?  I can't make this stuff up.

Gabriel yells:  "No, Mom, no!  Don't cut off my ball!!!!!"

Sweetness

It's been a truly wonderful summer with my kiddos.  Even so, the other day after breakfast and before my shower, I brewed myself a cup of coffee.  The kids were amusing themselves, and I just wanted a moment (or two!) to enjoy my coffee outside, enjoying the sounds of the morning. In peace, by myself.

Of course, this is not exactly what happened.  I tiptoed through the door and onto the front porch, and as I turned to close the door, Gabriel appeared.

"Whatcha doing, Mom?"

"Oh, I just wanted three minutes to sit here and drink my coffee..."

"With your son," he finished for me in a cheerful sing-song voice.

I sighed and smiled at the same time.  Sighing because the few moments of peace would not be, smiling because summer was coming to an end, and there were only a few precious days left before the start of school.  I could enjoy my coffee alone nearly every single day. For now, I would be enjoying it ...

"With my son", I confirmed.

We chit-chatted for a bit, and at some point we got around to talking about Gabriel's future wife.

"I'm going to find someone pretty who knows God," he said.

I told him that was a very smart thing to do, and to make sure she is kind as well.

"And funny, and smart."

He looked up at me with shining eyes.

"Just like you, Mommy."

Tears sprung to my eyes. I knew I would treasure this moment forever. Then he added two more words that would ensure I would indeed remember this.

"...except young."

In Honor of Comic Con: Batman Says

In the early part of our relationship, my new beau was trying desperately to hide the geek side of himself from me.  I was already clued in the first time we got together.  I suggested a game of darts at a nearby pub and he admitted he carried his very own dart set in the car.

I agreed with him when he acknowledged it was a pretty geeky thing to do.

Then came his favorite show at the time, a popular sci-fi show on cable.  I wasn't familiar with it.  Perhaps as he began to describe it to me, my eyes glazed over, or perhaps he feared his enthusiasm for this show, along with the dart thing, might propel him so far into dorkdom I might cut my losses while the cutting was good.  Either way, he felt the need to justify himself, the show, or both. 

He began to shift in his seat.

He cleared his throat.

Twice.

"Well," he stammered.

And then he said it.

The greatest Batman quote to date.

"It's not really Sci-fi...

It's a drama... in space."