A Week(-ish) in Review...

This week:

A tree branch stole my sunglasses right off of my head.
My car tire rolled through some fresh tar. Now it's covered in gravel and debris and goes thump thump thump as I drive down the road.
A cucumber fell out of my grocery bag and onto the lawn.
Gabriel made me laugh.
Batman was a butt.
Batman apologized with cheesecake.
Julian broke his wrist.
Julian got a really cool cast.
Gabriel wants a buzz cut. He may be getting one later today.
I had a mini meltdown trying to be everyone and everywhere all at the same time.
I bought extra tissues for Julian's last day of elementary school.
I packed all the lunches, made all the dinners, signed all the forms, and did all the dishes.
Except for last night, when Batman did them.
I had insomnia twice.
The other night, the sky had a strange yellow glow to it.
I found a Sharpie in the dryer.
And a Lego guy.
And a rock.
And a dollar.
And a plastic bag.
My oldest child finished elementary school.
I survived the above without Xanax.
I realized there's no fighting Gabriel's musical side and everything in the house will always be a drum.

Busy Spring!

Spring is here! It's been a busy few weeks months.  Lots of school papers. Some mild illness. Homework. Bickering. Talking back. Food preparation. Cleaning. Work. Errands. Schedule juggling... is this really 40? There are days I think homeschooling the children would be more effective, then there are others where I believe it would be pointless. The bickering is driving me crazy. Gabriel was in a tree at the playground the other day, and Julian grabbed his shoe- right off of his foot. There was name calling and who knows what else. When Julian was told to give it back (after much shrieking from his brother), he hurled it only vaguely in Gabriel's general direction. This, of course, resulted in more shrieking from Gabriel. I suppose if this had been a TV episode, it might have been funny.  This kind of thing has been far too common lately, so it really wasn't funny, just exhausting.

Gabriel found a raccoon skull while at his father's, and was thoughtful enough to leave it on my pillow.  Have I mentioned how much I love having boys? And I don't mean that sarcastically. A raccoon skull on my pillow is parenting gold.  Gabriel got the idea from his brother, who a few months ago first put a raccoon skull on my pillow.  He snuck it there just before bed, then asked me in the morning why he didn't hear me scream when I saw it.  I told him it startled me, but I think he was expecting a TV reaction, not a real-life one.

Julian is eating and eating and eating.  Growth spurt! Fortunately, most of what he snacks on is fresh fruit and second helpings of (mostly) nutritious meals. I think I will measure all three kiddos tomorrow and see how much they've all grown (update- Julian has grown over 2" since January!).

Gabriel participated in a track meet the other night. He did well and had so much fun! It's an annual event, so I'm sure we will be going next year as well.

Julian is part of a Lego robotics team for his school.  They competed at the state level and came in second for their category. I know he will enjoy the robotics program next year in middle school (sniff!).

Maddie is enjoying her art class.  They work with a variety of media and techniques.  Her school posts her class work on a website so family can see what she's creating.  That would have been so neat when I was in school.

The school year is winding down. I can't believe how fast the time has zipped by.  The boys are signed up for a week of Camp Hi Ho, which is really exciting. Maddie has nine days of summer break before heading off to her month-long sleep-away camp. She had a blast last year, even though we missed her bunches. I'm really looking foreword to a fun, relaxing summer. And more help from the kids. Oh yes.

I took a week off from work to get some projects done around the house.  I have certainly accomplished a lot.  I treated myself to a coffee date to catch up with a friend yesterday. It was lovely.  Another friend reminded me that I should really take time for me today, and do something nice for myself.  I just took a walk with the dog- yes! We got a dog!  More on her later.  So I think I will get some lunch and go do something fun!

Thank Goodness for the Escape Hatch!

Out of the clear blue, Gabriel asked, "How are kittens born?"

I smiled and told him pretty much the way babies are born.

He frowned and worriedly asked, "So they have to have their tummies cut open?".

I sighed to myself before answering. Despite all of my preparation and determination to experience natural childbirth, my children were both delivered by completely unavoidable cesarean deliveries. I thought I had done an excellent job of explaining that while sometimes things don't go as planned and a mommy has to have an operation where the doctor can get the baby out, most mommies are able to push and push their babies out.  Their bodies are designed to do this.

I smiled at Gabriel. I reassured him that mommy cats can push their babies out just like human mommies.

"Out their bottom?"

I explained (again) that just like there is a way for pee to come out, grown up ladies have a way for babies to come out. You know, in the same general area.  I reminded him that's the usual way, but he and his brother took the "side door".

"Or sometimes, I tell people you took the emergency escape hatch."

"Oh good," Gabriel says, looking relieved. "Because that is not the first thing I wanted to see."

Aquarium or Bust! Bust!

Saturday was the first official day of spring break. It was a rainy morning. Batman was feeling spontaneous and thought we should hit the road and take the kids to the aquarium.  It's an hour and a half away, perfect for a day trip. We ate breakfast and kept the aquarium a secret. We told the kids to get dressed and get ready to run some errands.  Dodging raindrops, we piled into Batman's roomy SUV.

Eventually, the kids began to wonder where exactly we were going.  We put them off a few times, but they were persistent.  When they absolutely had to know, we played Twenty Questions and they guessed on the very last question.

A quick stop for a late lunch near the aquarium made us realize it was quite a bit chillier than at home. And it was still raining.  We navigated the parking lot and finally made it to the actual building. We figured it wouldn't be too crowded; after all, it was late afternoon and wouldn't most people be headed the opposite direction toward Florida?

We were (in the words of Tabatha Coffey) gobsmacked at the ridiculously long line. Batman stood in line while the kids and I took cover under an awning. It was pretty chilly and still raining.  We all had worn spring jackets but they were not enough. The much lower temperatures really caught us off-guard.  And there was my hubby, standing in line wearing short sleeves, getting pelted by nearly-frozen raindrops. After a few minutes, I took the kids and guiltily ducked into a little candy store nearby for warmth. I watched my hubby move very very slowly through the line.

And then he called me.  They were only letting a few people at a time into the aquarium because they were already at capacity. He was still a good half-hour from even getting tickets, and even then our tickets would have an entrance time on them- a half-hour or hour from when we actually had the tickets in hand. Yikes.  Even if all that worked out, we were still cutting it close on time- the aquarium was due to close in an hour and a half.  We wouldn't have as much time as we would like.  What to do? Disappoint the kiddos? Wait it out in the rain, gambling with our time?

I gave the kids the scoop. And you know what? They really impressed me. They all voted that we should come back when the weather was nicer or at the very least, we would have more time to wander through and enjoy ourselves.  As disappointed as I was about missing out on all the aquarium had to offer, I was really proud of my kids for making a mature decision. And so willingly!

We freed my hubby from the line. He joined us in the candy shop.  We rewarded the kids by letting them choose a fun treat and headed home. A simple dinner of warm soup and gooey grilled cheese sandwiches warmed us up.  A cozy evening on the couch with a movie has ended our day nicely.  A relaxing family day together with easy-going children and a few laughs was a wonderful way to begin our spring break. The entire week is ahead of us, and the best part- we still have an exciting trip to the aquarium to look forward to!

We're back!

I am going to skip all the lamenting about how long it's been since I've posted last, how much this upsets me, and how most of our little stories have simply landed on Facebook. That will change right now.

The kids are midway through their school year despite ten eleven snow days. Maddie has started middle school, and it's going well. Gabriel has had a bit of a tricky time in third grade, socially. Some tweaking of his behavior has been needed, but I think we are over the hump now. Julian is in his last year of elementary school, which my brain can hardly grasp. He's preparing for a week-long field trip a few hours away (ok, I'm preparing. He will be fine).  He's really growing up. They all are.


Part of me wants to go back in time and freeze them at the preschool age. Such a cute age, always curious, always asking questions (so many questions!), and satisfied with some basic explanations, most of the time made up on the spot.  I remember being impressed with my own improv skills.

It's so much fun to watch them grow, however.  Gabriel's questions and the things he worries about. Julian and his imagination- he was pondering aloud the other day, and the concept he was talking about pretty much blew my mind.  I almost don't want to even mention it, because one day I believe it will make an excellent book premise. They're each discovering their own talents and interests, and it's always an adventure.


 
We spent Thanksgiving in Florida, and it was magical.  So many family members, the beach, and weird crow thieves that steal Splenda packets off of outdoor cafe tables.

Julian has been accepted to the Montessori Magnet program at Westport Middle.  They have individual work plans for each student.  Julian will thrive in the robotics program they offer.  Maddie is enjoying art classes there.

Gabriel is making up his own jokes- What do you find at the back end of a duck? A butt-quack!

Legos, books, and Minecraft dominate most conversations around here. So.Much.Minecraft!







Julian's ice cream flavor (that Gabriel helped create) is back at The Comfy Cow.  It's such a successful flavor that they've added it permanently into the rotation.

I cannot believe the fourth day of March was another snow day.  It's been quite an adventurous winter, weather-wise.  We have relished the snow, cozy fireplace time, and hot chocolate.  But it's March, and we are ready for spring! Bring on the warm temperatures, sunshine, green grass, blooming trees, fragrant flowers, fresh dirt, buzzing bees, fireflies, grilled dinners, sunscreen, sidewalk chalk, swimming pools, shorts and sandals, neighborhood walks, playtime at the park, longer evenings and sleeping in.  We are ready!

Aimee

Mother of the Year

Today I am being completely obnoxious, and am awarding myself
Mother of the Year.
 I am giving myself this award for Showing Kindness Where It Is Not Deserved, for Sucking It Up and Taking The High Road, for Infinite Patience in Circumstances I Thought I Would Never Find Myself In (I know, I know. It's "in which I would never find myself". Whatever.).

Is this my first time being awarded Mother of the Year?  Oh no.  I've been nominated and awarded this to myself many times over the years.

Those long nights, pacing the floor, swaying, patting, shushing, and nursing on very little broken sleep. Enduring countless episodes of baby spit up for five months straight.  Finding a job to support my beautiful babies after my husband financially devastated us, then left me.  That one time I had my sick two-year-old (and his ten-month-old brother) at the doctor's office and she very sweetly told me I would be going home, packing an overnight bag for my son and for myself, and to take him to the children's hospital.  He had pneumonia, and I "slept" next to him through the night while the IV worked it's magic.  Those long days of teething and tantrums.  The times during the public meltdowns of one or both toddlers, when I would smile at onlookers and say, "Don't forget your birth control!" and scoop my little ones up to go home for a nap...

Today is different though.  My boys are a bit older, so the things that require more of me have changed. This time, my oldest declares he wants me to teach him how to bake a cake. I am thrilled! We used to bake together often when they were toddlers and loved it!  The past few years find me pleading for them to work with me on cupcakes or cookies.  They sort of start to help me out, but get distracted and wander off, leaving me to do the work.  They just want me to let them know when the treats are ready. That's just not as much fun for me.

But Julian wants to learn to bake on his own, and I excitedly tell him he is certainly old enough. Then he explains he wants to make a cake for his dad and his bride-to-be.  As a gift.  His brother wants to make his own, also. Ah.

Ok. So we are making cake.  Yes, I will teach them, but their cake must be all their own.  And while at Target, I show them all the pretty wedding cards.  I ask if they want to pick one out to congratulate their dad and his fiancé. They do! They each choose just the right one.  Then they choose a gift card for them.  Look at me, being the bigger person! I mentally pat myself on the back.

This may be normal for some divorced families, but certainly not over here. This is all very groundbreaking. I mean, it was only a decade ago that I was huge and round and nearing the delivery of my firstborn.  Had someone whispered in my ear that before my child's tenth birthday, I would be married to someone else and helping my boys choose a wedding gift for their dad, no way would I have believed it.  Their father barely speaks to me. Ever.There are no kindnesses extended, nothing like that. I am always biting my tongue, taking the high road, doing what's best for my children.

So we now have made all the cakes.  We choose and buy frosting. Now we need boxes to transport them in. Then Julian wants a small bride and groom to top his cake. It's hard to find anything at a reasonable price. We try to get creative. We are in a time crunch. I've spent much of my time and energy on helping each boy bake their very own cake.  And frost. And the dishes. And he really, really wants a bride a groom for his cake. I am so over the whole cake thing.  But this is important to my child.  And in a year from now, what's going to matter most? So my child gets the bride and groom that he wants (I feel a teensy bit better when I find a coupon for it).  He is happy.  That's really all that matters.

The boys both did beautiful jobs with their cakes. They are so proud to discover how capable they are. It shows in their faces.

 Knowing I helped each child create and give the gift they wanted to their father makes me a better mother.  I left all pettiness aside, because this isn't about me or my ex. It's all about the boys.

So for all the single parents, divorced parents, step parents, working parents, at-home parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and guardians.  For all of those moments when you Sucked It Up and Took The High Road, Held Your Tongue when you wanted to say something snarky, Did The Right Thing even though it wasn't fair, Kept It To Yourself for the sake of your children, and Acted Out Of Love for the sake of your beautiful babies, I also award you Mother of the Year.
Now pat yourself on the back. Hug your babies, no matter their age. No reward could possibly be greater.

Bicycle! Bicycle!

I was the only one in my family of five without a bike to ride.

Until today.

Riding my bike when I was younger was fun. I had an orange Huffy with a banana seat. It had a white plastic basket with various colors of plastic daisies decorating it. My friends and I would ride around the neighborhood, toting our favorite little things in the baskets, and occasionally falling and skinning our knees.

As a mom, I now watch my children conquer their fears and experience the freedom that comes with mastering the skills of riding a bike. They all pretty much have the bike thing down, even Julian, my reluctant bike rider. He is nearly ten years old and just yesterday finally admitted how much fun he's having. He is also nursing a skinned and bruised elbow, but I don't think it will deter him.

My hubby is so stoked for us to go bike riding together as a family. He has been anticipating this since the day we said "I do" in our new home together.  After four summers of hard work, falls, skinned elbows, tears, encouragement and frustration, we finally have all three kids comfortable and confident on their bikes. Only one thing was missing: a bike for me.

After searching Craigslist and various stores, we go to Target to find a bicycle for me- my first in over twenty years. I know what style I want: what I call an "old lady bike".  One with a lower, wide seat (for my sort-of wide seat) and higher handle bars.  Hubby says I need gears. I joke about wantng a basket with a puppy inside. With those criteria, we check out a few of the selection.

And then he sees it.

And then I see it.

It's the style I want.

It is an obnoxious shade of pink.

With flowers.

And fenders. Fenders!

And a basket.

Hubby gets it down for me and I try it out. The front part of the seat is tilted bizarrely upward, but I look and am convinced it can be tilted down.

The ten-year-old me is giddy with excitement over the possibility of going home with this bike. The thirty-something mom me wonders if I should choose something more...dignified. If that's a word one would ever use to describe a bicycle.

My husband spots a different bike. It is definitely a more subdued color- a deep, matte plum. The seat is smaller, and it has shocks, which kind of freak me out as I hop on to feel it out. The handle bars aren't quite where I would  like them, but Batman shows me how they can adjust.

Both bikes have their pluses and minuses.  The "practical" one is more expensive.  I worry about my tendency to choose impractically based on what's pretty or sparkly. Straddling the ridiculously pink bike, I ask Batman if I will look silly riding this one.

"Yes", he says, without hesitating.

He is smiling, but he voices his honest opinion.

And then it happens.

A gentleman about a generation older than me walks by, sees me straddling the Ridiculous Pink Bike, smiles, and says:

"That thing come with a bell?"

He laughs. Batman laughs. I laugh.

I bury my head in my arm, laughing, turning red. I am simultaneously amused and embarrassed. I am mentally transformed into the young teenager who was cruelly teased so often for everything and nothing at all.  Still laughing and still embarrassed, I tell Batman I will get the other bike. The sensible-for-a-thirty-something-mother-of-three bike.

"That really did it for you?" he asks, amused.  "That really cinched your decision?"

I nod. I once again try out the practical bike. I'm not convinced the handle bars can be adjusted the way I want. And I'm frowning.

And then I know.

I look my husband in the eyes and tell him I am nearly forty years old and I don't care what anyone thinks- I will ride whatever bike I want. I will ride around our neighborhood on whatever bike makes me happy. And today that bike is Ridiculously Pink and has a basket and fenders.
And it makes me happy.

My husband smiles at me.

"That's my girl."