Yes, it's the middle of June already. Yes, I have missed capturing all the weird and wonderful-ness that is our family on here. Yes, I have failed once more on doing something for myself on a consistent basis. And yes, I have had a long day, not spent any time with my husband, and probably should be in bed.
Lots to catch up on, will probably have to fill this in as I go. The school year ended wonderfully for Maddie and Julian. Gabriel and I shared our "last" lunch together at home, without the other kids. He is going into kindergarten in August, and I am having a bit of a hard time with this.
This means a complete end to an entire chapter in our family's life. No more toddlers, no more preschoolers. No more sippy cups, stroller rides, car seats, or watching Blue's Clues in the morning. I have big kids now. It's just...different.
With three children between us, my husband and I have decided we are finished. So we have "his," we have "hers," but there will be no "ours." Batman feels very strongly that the three we have are definitely "ours" together, and I love that he has that sense of family. Oh, I could be talked into another very easily. I loved, loved being pregnant, and it sure would be nice to actually raise a toddler together with a partner (someone I like, even!), something I missed out on the first time around. This decision is a good one for our family, in our circumstances, and I am okay with it.
With Gabriel off to school next year, the possibilities for me seem endless. I work part time, so there will be days when I can, say, go grocery shopping by myself. What a treat! I can start a task around the house and be able to finish it! Imagine the things I will get accomplished without constant interruptions. Maybe I will actually read something more than two paragraphs long. That doesn't rhyme! Entire novels even! Try on clothes before I buy them because I don't have an impatient preschooler with me, asking LOUD, inappropriate questions in the fitting room? Yes I can!
Our yard needs attention, the basement is in desperate need of being organized, and after thoroughly enjoying my boys' preschool years, there are things I actually want to do for myself. I am almost giddy with anticipation of this time I will have for myself. I do wonder if I will even know what to do with myself, after being a two- and three-people unit for so long.
In the meantime, I am enjoying my time with them this summer, bickering, bruises, and all. I am focusing on really being present with them, soaking up the joyous (and even not-so-joyous) moments we have together, because it will all change, all too quickly. Life is always fluid, ever flowing, ever changing. Tiny tweaks made to our daily routines, little changes here and there, and pretty soon, you look around, and it's all very different. And it didn't happen all at once. And I think that's why it sometimes happens without our even noticing. Because it happens in tiny increments, little bits at a time. Which is probably the only way some of us could handle it.
So we're off to a great summer.
I look forward to sharing about our anniversary dinner. It was lovely. And in true Batman fashion, it didn't go off without a hitch.
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